Retreating Years

December was an interesting month! Along with the normal busyness of the season, the influenza bug grabbed me by the teeth and wouldn't let go. I lost precious time which I'd allotted to finishing up Christmas gifts and instead of making things, I lolled in bed. My recovery was slow, but I did put my weak days into profitable use by listening to an audio book and reading snippets from other valuable sources. I can't wait to share what I've gained from that enforced time of quietness! It was tremendous!! I wonder if my heightened biological sensitivity also helped sensitize me spiritually? It's an interesting idea...

The book I listened to was Jan Karon's A New Song. I have a printed copy - and I think I'd even read it once. But to listen to it as I laid on the sofa, unable to do anything else, was just amazing. When I read, I buzz through the pages pretty fast and I pass over descriptive language too quickly. I don't take time to drink in the nuance of ideas. Listening to the story read to me was a a rich experience in hearing dialogue, mentally imaging situations and altogether just drinking in the story itself! I was pleased with the breadth of Jan Karon's insights and quotations and her ability to juxtapose. She skillfully entwines ordinary people with extraordinary kindness and generosity. She melds together humor and pathos. And there is always an underlying current of victory even when she brings out the sorrows of life. I find her quotations to be very inspiring and fitting.

Another book that deeply affected me is a small volume I happened to pick up at The Book Mouse in Ottawa when I went to a drama workshop held by my friend, Donna. The book, Meditations on Nature, Meditations on Silence is by Roderick MacIver and Ann O'Shaughnessy. Rod MacIver's artwork is beautiful and fitting as the images blend with the quotations. I found the quotes of various writers and artists to be invigorating and inspiring as they reflect on the need and value of quietness in the creative process. The book is published by Heron Dance, a nonprofit organization with a big idea. I am hoping that I can get permission from Rod MacIver to post a few of his watercolors and I'll continue to reflect on the quotes from his books. I signed up for a weekly meditation that they'll send via email. The subscription process is available on the website linked above.

The picture that I posted today is one that I made in early December when I was beginning to watch my various videos of "The Christmas Carol". The video version done with George C. Scott has a funeral cortege that looks a lot like this as it rumbles past him while he walks home on a gloomy Christmas Eve. I was thinking when I made this picture how quickly the years pass by and what a spiral life seems to be.

The concept of life being a spiral came through one of my favorite podcats, Cast-On by Brenda Dayne. It's a knitting podcast, but Brenda does such a splendid job with her podcast that she infuses it with much more than knitting. I find her challenging and energizing. On her latest podcast (72), she talks about life being a spiral. I've heard of people saying that life is a circle. Or that life is a straight line. The spiral idea was a new concept to me, and I've been thinking about it ever since. In podcast 72, Brenda has a segment with Kim Werker, former editor of the Interweave's Crochet and founder of CrochetMe. In this podcast, Brenda interviews Kim who talks about her own creative process. It was fascinating! Kim talks about being "a starter". She is an idea person who comes up with thousands of ideas and loves to interact with other creative people. She gets bored once an idea is off the ground and is ready to move onto the next creative venture. I could really relate to what she said. Her insights encouraged me as I saw myself shadowed in her own form of creativity.

SOOOO - all this blather is about this: I feel like the Lord dropped into my heart at the first of the year the slogan "Refine in 2009". This "refining" process can take many different forms as I begin to refine my home by purging it of stuff that I no longer use. Or it could take the process of "refining" as I continue to seek excellence and quality in the steps that I take and the things that I make. Or it could take the process of "refining" as I allow the Lord to remove from me those things which inhibit His life in me: jealousy, fear, etc. etc.

I am going to continue pressing into these things in 2009 and I'm going to write about them on this blog. It will be my own personal way to press more deeply into the creative processes that I want and need to explore.

Thankful Hearts

Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and I wonder what has happened to this year! I've been in a real slump lately not having an original idea to write about. Or, perhaps I should say that I've had ideas but they've not been strung together into a sensible train of thought.

I realized the other day that I can't write anything unless I am reading. When I read my own thoughts are stimulated and I am able to process ideas. One idea sparks another idea and so forth.

However, now I am going to bed and I will revise this posting because it's so lousy. But at least I've got something up on my page so that it doesn't look quite so dated!

Chicken Feed

It's time to get back to posting. Like these roosters, I've been pecking at the ground lately and feel like I've only come up with gravel. Unlike roosters, gravel is not necessarily good for my own crop. So, I am now determined to turn up something healthier!
But - I journaled my thoughts the other day and that helped. For some reason it helps when I put letters onto paper and make them into words. It is almost as if the words become a lariat which lassos mavarick thoughts around the neck and then drags them to the ground where I can tie them up and leave them.
The first thing that journaling did for me this week is that it took me back to something that I had written this summer and totally forgotten than I'd written! I wrote this during a prayer time when I felt the Lord speaking these words to me regarding quietness in certain stages of life. This is what I wrote:

Vicky, what do you think it takes to hear My Voice?
Doesn't it take this time of quiet - this time of "separation"? Isn't this what Jesus did when He separated Himself from the tumult of the crowd in order to withdraw and be alone with My Healing Presence?
As you refuse the voices which would tell you to be "busy", which would tell you that you are "doing nothing", the voices which would have you believe that you are "lazy" or "indolent", as you refuse these voices, and trust in My ability to lead your forward, then You will be strengthened for the work for which I am already using you. You do not fully realize just HOW I am using you because you would be undone if you knew it. Keep your eyes upon Me and trust the Word of truth that I am imparting to you every day, and draw upon My strength to obey. That is all you need to be concerned about. I will do the rest.
You are called and formed for certain duties and responsibilities. Those duties WILL be fulfilled through you because you have a willing heart for Me. Those responsibilities will also be fulfilled through you because you have a willing heart.

Do not be afraid of the quietness and silence of this time. It is for a purpose for which you are not apprised during these weeks. Yes--it is weeks. I have known the anxious thoughts which have flown into your heart when you've thought that you are slow to respond. These are the thoughts which have told you that you are a late bloomer. These are the disparaging thoughts that have told you that you are a slacker and a burden to your husband. I have known all these thoughts and My grace has protected you from the full effect of those lying words.
Press on to resist those lies--for they are lies. I am doing a deep deep work in your soul. It is a work that will lie so deep that nothing will shake it when the time of shaking is released. I have set you apart to be alone with Me. This will not be forever, but it is definately for this time. It is also a protracted time--so don't be afraid of allowing it to unfold in all its fullness. I will tell you when it is accomplished.
Am I not your Boss? Your good Boss always gives timely directions. And that is Me!

I love you and I will never turn My Face from you because you have CHOSEN to keep your face turned to Me and I have heard that cry and I have poured out My grace upon you that you might choose to obey. You are my choice servant. You are my silk purse. I have made you thus.

These words were on the last page in my Notebook Journal. That was terrific because I saw it again when I put in the new pages that I worked on the other day. I need to be reminded again and again of what I've already been given as I daily work to wrestle the mavericks.

My Journal - how do I do it? I have prayed about being an organized Annie for so long that I don't even recognize it if it happens! But this is what I've decided to do about my journaling process and I think it may just work - for me!
I have a Miquelrius journal that refuses to fall apart no matter how much abuse I give it. It comes in either gridded or plain paper and I bought a bunch from Barnes & Noble several years ago - enough to last me for a good long time. I draw, paint, glue, stamp and tape stuff into my Miquelrius until it bulges like an interesting fat person. I write everyday stuff in the Miquelrius - things I shouldn't forget to do, scriptures that I pray for myself and others, prayer requests, ideas that come to me while I'm reading. These are snippets and snapshots of my current place. I carry the Miquelrius with me whether I'm in the living room reading a book or in church listening to a sermon, or on the highway thinking thoughts.

When I'm feeling especially inspired, or needing to understand where my thoughts are taking me today, I take the thoughts I've gathered in Miquelrius and compile them at the computer and make beautiful journal pages using Paint Shop Pro and Art Explosion. I make pictures in Paint Shop Pro but then I take the pictures into Art Explosion and make them into journal pages. I also used purchased images from online scrapbook shops. I print off these pages onto matte photo paper (a real luxury so that I can get the print quality) and then put them into page protectors and insert them into a 3 ring binder. The newest pages go in the front.

It gives me a great sense of accomplishment to take discordant ideas and lash them down into columns with images and color surrounding them. It soothes me with a sense of order - an order over which I have control rather than feeling, once again, like I am being controlled. I also feel like I am actually writing a book for my own enjoyment. And that feels great!

Now, what do I think is happening with this blog? Am I becoming more transparent as I've been posting over the past few months? Am I more willing to take a risk and tell it like I'm seeing it even if someone else reads this and can't understand a thing I've written? OR, even if no one else ever reads it!! I hope so. I hope so. I hope that as I emerge out of this gravelly learning process that finally the casing is being slit away and I am going to come out of hiding.
Artwork in Header by Debbie Mumm; Header tut by Carol's Creations; Tatted Lace in Header by Gamock's Creations; Scraps in header by Irene Alexeeva; Butterfly at bottom of posting by Weeds & Wildlfowers

Bird On A Wing

Summer has winged it's way out the door.

It seems like ages since I've last written a post. Amanda's girls are here which has kept us all very busy. There are stories to be told, books to read, philosophizing to be done, walks to take, baths to give, meals to fix and - as a result of all this - the not so fun business of laundry, dishes and cleanup that go along with it.

I want to make some bookplates and post them on the blog for anyone who is interested. But I'm not sure how to put up a link so that others can download the file. Does anyone have any helpful hints? I sure would be interested in hearing your ideas. In fact, I would love to hear from anyone and everyone who has ideas of things that I could make and post!

That's all for now - time to take the dog to the clip joint. She can't see through all the hair in front of her eyes.

Tchuess!

I'm Away!!

Here I am in Minneapolis! Although you can't see me, I'm really here - up north where the air is chilly. I think a lot about Gwen Frostic and her beautiful books when I come up here. But actually, that's a lie because I think more about our delicious granddaughters than I do about an irritable woman that I never met. And Gwen Frostic was irritable if I can believe the bio that was written about her.

But back to our granddaughters...they are full of funnies and are so very much funnier than the funny papers because they are guileless. Frances, the Tidy, last night sent me into fits of laughter when she took a drink of water and then, with one finger on each side, pushed on her cheeks. A spray of water came out and shot across the room. Franny stood stock still, just as serious as could be as if she didn't even realize what she had just done. I laughed until tears ran down my face. You really had to be there.

We will be here until Wednesday and then the girls will come home with us for about 10 days. It will be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

But back to Gwen Frostic. Does anyone know about other authors of books like hers? I could spend hours just going over her beautiful artwork. I would love leads to others like her.

Adios for today!

We're Flying Off

Tomorrow we are going to pick up Amanda, Frances and Eleanor! I am looking forward to their visit with much relish. The Schwans man came today and left mounds of food. He remarked that all the stuff I bought today was pre-cooked. I said, "Yes! We are having company and I am not wanting to cook while they are here!"

So, Papa will go up to help do some odds and ends around the house - install lights, put in a new electrical outlet and repair their sprinkling system. I am going up to play with the girls, sew with Amanda and play with the girls some more!

Several months back I had closed off most of the yahoo groups that I belong to while I was busy with houseguests. I was also trying to decide how I wanted to proceed with developing my graphic/image ideas. I still don't know for sure what direction I will move into, but this week I re-entered one of my creating groups and started sending in stationery work again. I found that the difference now is that I am working at developing an understanding of why certain techniques work the way that they do and how to use color to interact with other colors. I am committed to making images that will have several purposes and not just to make stationeries that cannot be used anywhere else.

I think that I'm finally discovering what it is that I want to do and don't want to do. I feel like the little butterfly in the picture above. I am flying alone while trying to determine how I want to fly on. I know this probably sounds complicated and maybe it is unnecessarily complex - why not just do something for the fun of doing it? Why do I have to have a heavy reason for doing what I do?

Well, it is fun - what I'm doing. But there seems to be a limit to what can be done with it and I'm looking for a niche and a way around the limit. So far I haven't discovered the answer. But I am going to continue to enjoy and learn as I seek.

It's a rainy day and Hurricane Ike is busy blasting the Gulf coast. While it rains here, I pray for the people there. Yesterday was the anniversary of 9/11. It was also the anniversary of my Dad's near death surgery. A friend's daughter is going through crisis right now... There is so much going on and I do not want to lose perspective of what is lasting and what is temporary. Yet, like the butterfly in the picture above, I am looking at the beauty that does lie around me and I want to capture a small portion of it in word or image if I possibly can.

Rainy Days

Click on the image to see it rain on the leaf!

It has been raining here for the past few days - the sky is steely and everything drips. But I never complain about rain. As a former farm girl and an admirer of green things, I would rather have it be a little too wet than too dry.

I bought a book a couple of weeks ago about Starved Rock Park which is just up the road apiece. It is an interesting compilation of photos and highlights of the work that was done in the 1930s by the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corp). The U.S. Army set up and administered the camps which were then run in much the same way as if they were troops stationed in their different locations. Young men were able to enlist in the CCC for six months and were "paid a stipend for a 5 day work week, 3 meals a day, lodging, clothes, footwear, innoculations, other medical and dental care, and, at their option, vocational, academic, or recreational instruction". Since this was during the time of the depression, many of these young men were able to regain physical strength through eating well and receiving medical attention, as well as learning valuable carpentry skills. Most of them sent money back to their families who were helped by this support. The stone work that they built is, I think, especially beautiful and is still used today.

When I was small, we lived near Clarksville, Iowa, which had a lovely walkable stone dam. We would go to Heery Woods State Park for picnics and family reunions where we kids would play on the dam while our Mothers got the food ready and our Dads played horseshoes. I think that the beauty of that park settled in my heart forever and is one of the reasons that I love green and growing things so much.

Graphic based on tutorial by Carver House

Robin's E(expected) T(time of) D(departure)

It is a joyous spring day when I spot my first robin! Robins can smell worms from afar and know when they are beginning to surface again. And this is why they return when they do. Having no appetite for worms myself, I don't know when this phenomena occurs. I just look for the robins who relay that information. Although there are some robins who stay with us year around, I don't see them throughout the winter myself. Which brings me to my next thought.

It is almost time for them to leave us. There was one year, and one year only, when I actually saw the robins gather together and check their tiny suitcases to make sure they had everything before flying off for parts unknown to me. Other than that, I can only surmise when they will leave without as much as a fare-thee-well. I sense that it's about that time now. There's a rumbling underfoot which tells me that perhaps the worms are starting to burrow deeper.

A Weird Saturday

It's Weirdsville around here today. It's tired out even though I took a nap. I knitted a bit on another pair of socks while ignoring the Smoke Ring that I am knitting for my sister (as a gift - shhhh, don't tell.) I actually washed the dishes twice today - which is a record for me since that is my least favorite job along - with about 10 other household tasks. I have been as alert all day as a piece of bark.

Looking at the little squirrel in this picture reminds me of the strangest noise I heard last week. It was a high pitched whirring sound, yet it also sounded like it could be the meow of an abandoned kitten. Since I couldn't figure out what the sound was I decided to go outside to investigate. When I rounded the corner of the house, I saw a squirrel on the branch of the hickory tree just a-scolding away. He was livid and his tail was bobbing up and down so fast it was a blur of agitation! I have no idea what his problem was unless our cat Zelda was hunkered down within his squirrel vision and he was indignant about it. I learned that day that squirrels have a lot of different sounds which they can make, and it would behoove me to be a little more observant.

I'd write more about the sounds that animals make, but I'm too tired. So, I'm going back to my knitting, or maybe to take another nap and make my own sound of snoring.

Graphic above made based on a tutorial by Shan's Designs